Ever since I was a kid, I knew that death scared me. Losing loved ones, the physical pain and the infinite nature of time. Like any fear, the more you avoid it, the bigger it gets in your mind. In my mid-30s, I started to inquire about it with some amazing teachers. Here are some of the articles, blogs, and podcasts that have helped me overcome the fear.

My personal experience with the fear

I was a stressed out workaholic. Then I realized that this fear was at the root of my problems – The first piece I ever wrote on the topic (which ended up going viral)
Growth happens at our edges – A big change in my thinking arose after I was introduced to hospice care and not fighting to squeeze the last drops out of life.
My interview with Frank Ostaseski: I interviewed Frank, who founded the Zen Hospice Project and wrote The Five Invitations: What Death can Teach us about Living Well.
Death and our ongoing quest to live heroic lives – Death is a stealth motivator, but letting go of the need to leave (unreasonable) marks on the world has lifted a burden from my daily activities.
From the Rad Awakenings podcast – Conversations with two of my coaches on this fear (Kate Bednarski and Andrew Taggart) and with two cancer survivors (Richard Hughes-Jones and Lindsay Beck)
I was interviewed by Jerry Colonna (Reboot Podcast) and Patrick O’Shaughnessy (Invest Like the Best) on how this fear impacted me professionally
And don’t miss an entire section of this blog dedicated to the fear of death.

Some RadReads on mortality

One man’s quest to change the way we die (NYT, 20 mins) – BJ Miller from the Zen Hospice project
Questions for me about dying (New Yorker, 15 mins) – An excerpt from Cory Taylor’s memoir about her battle with cancer.
Tim Urban and Paul Graham on the shortness of life

A list of books

Psychology and Spirituality

[amazon_textlink asin=’0684832402′ text=’The Denial of Death’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’5fcbdd60-4a82-11e8-aaac-1fabc6f79901′], Earnest Becker
[amazon_textlink asin=’1250076226′ text=’Being Mortal’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’67a5c0c3-4a82-11e8-a0be-a9423344ebb6′], Atul Gawande – Listen to Gawande discuss the book (and palliative care) on the BBC Reith Lectures.
[amazon_textlink asin=’1250074657′ text=’The Five Invitations’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’6cfcf12e-4a82-11e8-823c-51abb01b1727′], Frank Ostaseski – Listen to Frank discuss the importance of contemplating death on Sam Harris’ podcast.

Memoirs

[amazon_textlink asin=’1455502766′ text=’Mortality’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’72c46f67-4a82-11e8-8921-b384fba6b114′], Christopher Hitchens
[amazon_textlink asin=’081298840X’ text=’When Breath Becomes Air’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’0732f056-4a83-11e8-8f7e-f9ad0ebd826f’], Paul Kalinithi
[amazon_textlink asin=’1401323251′ text=’The Last Lecture’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=”], Randy Pausch
[amazon_textlink asin=’006073731X’ text=’Not Fade Away’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’04effada-4a82-11e8-8d48-530139cdbe3f’], Laurence Shames

Fiction

[amazon_textlink asin=’0307389936′ text=’Sum’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’558fa0c0-4a82-11e8-8ffd-fb72775ff4dd’], David Eagelman
[amazon_textlink asin=’0553210351′ text=’The Death of Ivan Ilych’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’khemaridhhy0a-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’0edd37cf-4a83-11e8-a8b8-e925a604be91′], Leo Tolstoy

The Fear of Death Reading List