Hitting the club (in your 40s)

club photo

You’re a 44 year old father of 3 young kids.

It’s Friday night and you’re ready to let loose.

You crash at 9 pm. Set an alarm for 2 am.

You head to BASEMENT NY at 3am

You dance the night away.

Solo and sober.

Grab a Dunkin’s at 6am just in time to make pancakes for the kids.

This is a true story

The suspect in question is a hedge fund professional (and friend of mine).

He’s very serious at work. And doting as a parent and a husband.

He’s tried to recruit many of his friends (myself included) into his harebrained scheme.

(After all, we used to party our faces off in the golden days of Twilo, Vinyl and Sound Factory.)

His wife fully supports his dancing ritual.

(As long as he doesn’t wake her up on the way out.)

The kids are totally onboard – because the pancakes are ready when they get up.

And my friend is fine too. After all, he’s slept 5 hours.

What makes you come alive?

I ask highly driven and ambitious RadReaders this question all the time.

And the sad truth is that very few can answer.

(Those who can, have thrown in the towel saying they “missed the window” to pursue said activity.)

It’s a reminder that while money can buy you many things, it can’t buy you aliveness.

And what’s the opposite of aliveness? Feeling dead inside.

Aliveness is a key component of our Mindful Money framework. (Alongside Impact, Freedom, Love and Equanimity.)

There are limits to what money can and can’t do.

Money can’t guide you towards the activity that makes time melt away.

And money most certainly can’t get you to the club at 2am WHILE honoring your self-imposed duties as a father and husband.

I’ve seen many very smart people miss the script about money.

They view money as the destination. The end-goal.

When really it’s the vessel.

“Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don’t want to run out of gas on your trip, but you’re not doing a tour of gas stations.”

Tim O’Reilly

So take a few deep breaths.

Close your eyes.

And answer the question:

What makes you come alive?

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