A simple tip to make you more likable

People hate the term networking.

They hate it so much that they want to take a shower after participating in the activity.

In one study, networkers were more likely to complete a sentence with “cleansing” words like “shower”, “wash”, and “soap.”

And in another, people who considered attending a business networking event rated cleansing products like “soap” and “toothpaste” as more desirable.

I want to offer a simple reframe for you.

Ditch networking.

Instead focus on “ARB,” or Authentic Relationship Building.

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Hi, I’m Khe Hy. A decade ago I quit my 7-figure job on Wall Street to become a writer. I explore topics like money, happiness, ambition, relationships, productivity and more.

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The networking reframe

One of the most powerful reframes for networking is to start from a place of genuine care.

Let’s say you were looking to learn about a new industry.

You start scrolling LinkedIn and stumble upon someone you met at a conference.

And then you send that person a cold DM, asking for a catch up call.

Now for some real talk. How do you think that will actually play out?

However, if you cultivated that relationship with a mix of thoughtful check-ins, an occasional shared article and a quick coffee when your travels overlapped – the result would be very different.

I detailed the extensive networking strategies of superconnectors (mutually beneficial introductions, keeping a classification system) in the video belo:

The cherry on top of your “networking”

Once you’ve mastered the art of authentic relationship building, I want to put forth an additional tip.

This tip demonstrates care, respect and nice personalized touch.

It meets people where they are.

I use this tip when I share articles, podcasts, voice notes, memes (and even birthday videos) – which I do multiple times per week.

I send them the message on their preferred method of communication.

Yup, I keep a running list of how folks choose to communicate.

There’s the obvious email vs. texting dichotomy. (i.e. Boomer vs. Millennial).

But it’s even more nuanced than that.

Some are WhatsAppers. (i.e. my Android and international peeps.)

Others love the Instagram DM.

Gen X and up, email of course.

(The one bridge I’m not willing to cross is Telegram and Signal.)

You might think that this is an absurd (and unreasonable) burden to take on.

But for me, it’s just a very simple way to say:

I value your time. I care about you.

And that is a game-changer, my friends.

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